Beer, babies and diamond baubles

Over the weekend I found myself on safari in the suburbs, attending a backyard BBQ in celebration of a lovely couples recent nuptials. The relatively enjoyable gathering got rather interesting as I sat back to observe the countless couples interacting with one another. And then it dawned on me - do our conversations turn to child birth, home renos and interest rates the moment we walk down the aisle of marital bliss?

The highlight of the evening had to have been when all the gals gathered to compare engagement rings. Was this for real? A moment that can only be compared to men boasting the quality of their high definition TV’s. I know, how very stereotypical of me but case in point, we are just as bad as the boys are. If not worse really, given the sentimental nature of ones engagement ring. C’est dommage, it’s certainly not my intention to begrudge a gal her bling. However, I’m mildly tempted to rock up to the next fidelity fiesta sporting a 5 carat falsey just to taunt the marrieds. Too much?

It goes without saying, we are what we know. For example, if I spent the good part of my day changing poo poo diapers and minding the baby monitor, I too would find these topics enthralling. (When I say baby, you say poo poo…baby!…baby!…) But alas, I opted for a lawn chair and a wine buzz whilst soaking this all in. I’m sure I’ll eat my words one day…but until then, I’ll continue on with my cheeky rants.

Speaking of cheeky, did anyone catch Sue Johanson’s appearance on Letterman last week? This woman is my hero…check out the saucy minx here.

SATC: The Movie premieres nation wide in…4 MORE DAYS

American Idol contestant cries his way to the final

‘Don’t cry for me Archuletaaaaaa’. Whilst laid up on my couch suffering from a pesky cold, I found myself tuning in for the sub-par performances of American Idol finalists - cry baby David Archuleta and rocker wannabe David Cook. Is this seriously the best the states have to offer? I’m not denying either one of these fellas have talent, but I find myself feeling thankful that my cold medication is about to send me into an 8 hour coma.

Archuleta, the 17 year old crooner who should stick strictly to show tunes and Josh Groban renditions, cries at every given opportunity. I don’t get it? Why so sad shooky? Is it because of Paula’s inspiring, prescription-drug-induced critiques? Side note, can we please check the contents of that woman’s coke glass prior to each taping? Is it appropriate that she sluuuuuuuuuuuuur her way through each show? That is some kinda contract she’s rockin – not too shabby for the washed up former Laker girl (didn’t she have a song or 2 in the 80’s as well?).

David Cook on the other had seems more marketable to me. Perhaps it’s my taste in music that causes me to support team Cook, however his mediocre Bon Jovi ballads are not rockin my world either. It’s interesting to me what appeals to the American public. Will it be the town crier, or the rocker without a reason to rock? Who cares really.

In other news, I thought I might share with you an interesting little gizmo that may catch on in N America over the coming months. A friend of mine described these as the next Tickle Me Elmo with an iPhone thrust up his backside. It’s called the Nabaztag. A robotic rabbit - not the one made famous by Samantha Jones, but a cute little guy that connects to your Wi-Fi router to keep you up to date on your email, news, weather, or essentially anything you program him to keep tabs on. In other words, he listens to your commands, talks back…he even smells?? Your own little personal assistant in the form of a hello kitty inspired bunny. Think they’ll catch on?

Countdown to Sex and the City: The Movie – 10 days…tick tick tick…

Get your filthy paws off my pointy bra

Ok people…shit is about to get girlie.

Madonna – otherwise known as Madge, Material Girl, Mrs. Ritchie and other, has released her latest musical effort – Hard Candy. You would have to be completely daft…or deaf…not to have heard the buzz around this album.

Admittedly, I am 100% bias having loved this woman for as long as I can remember (lacey gloves and spangles come to mind, but it’s fuzzy). If I thought the album was shit I would admit it, but this is simply NOT so. Having listened to the 12 tracks non stop over the past week, I’d like to share with you…

The Urban Cowgirl’s official Hard Candy review:

‘Candy Shop’ is a sticky sweet start to the album, produced by The Neptunes, who have clearly given Timbaland a run for his money. Pop-disco dance track ‘Beat Goes On’, produced once again by The Neptunes and featuring an appearance by Kanye West, makes me wanna boogie oogie oogie, til I just can’t boogie no more. Love it. Madge gives a solid shout out to her Latin fans with the sexy ‘Spanish Lesson’, also produced by - you guessed it - The Neptunes, thoughtfully laced with Latin guitar licks. Shakira called, she wants her hips back…cuz they don’t lie. Monsieur Timberlake collabs on ‘Dance 2Night’, offering up yet another dance track to make you drop it like its hotter then a Kabbalah convention. And let’s not forget the single that started it all, ‘4 Minutes’. Timbaland’s only true gem on the album, although it has become so overplayed I get a little twitchy when I hear it. I digress; it’s still a hot little ditty.

The Urban Cowgirl gives this album 5 Malawi orphans out of 5.

Dust off your stilettos as the official countdown to Sex and the City: The Movie is on – 17 days until the film opens worldwide; 16 days until the Vancouver premier…anyone have tickets and in desperate need of a date? Cosmos on me?

Legitimate logo wear or laughing stock – you be the judge

Why is it, time and time again, us Canadians adopt a somewhat embarrassing Olympic look rivaling that of fashion victims and trendy try-hards alike? Why have we allowed the Hudson Bay Company to take part in the selection, and ultimately, the responsibility of producing such important paraphernalia as it relates to our identity as a nation…our culture…the very essence of our Olympic team? WHY are our athletes forced to traipse about in something that resembles a bad Ed Hardy knock off? Helloooooo – the Hells Angels called, they want their tracksuits back. In utter shock from these monstrosities, my lovely bf and I took to the town this past weekend to see these wretched rags up close.

May I present to you, the Urban Cowgirls Top Three Offenders:

Exhibit A: the B-Tube. This Olympic accessory gets points for its multi-purpose design, for example: one can wear this as a head band, a bandana or a mouth muff to protect our athletes from Beijing’s pollution problem. This is apparently a ‘top seller’. Wha?

Exhibit B: the Tapestry Print Pant. My favorite. Ooooooh, let me throw on these bad boys and walk down Robson Street whilst sending innocent bystanders into sudden seizures. Excellent. How very patriotic.

Exhibit C: Less we forget this little gem people – the Olympic Onesie. Complete with a triple 8 on the back…what does that mean? We Canadians aren’t devil worshippers, but we’ll ice skate figure eights around you? Watch out world – here comes Canadia!

Speaking of Canadia (nice segway UC), I’d like to offer a quick plug to a gal from my hometown who is competing for Canadian Idol. She’s lucky she’s good, otherwise I’d have a hay day…but she’s good…really good. Her name is Nadine McNeil, click here to check out her online audition.

The Urban Cowgirl would like to wish you all a happy Cinco de Mayo! Viva la Me-hee-co! I sure wish I was kickin’ it with our friends south of the south for a little fiesta action right about now. Here’s to you my burrito eatin’ buddies. Te amo amigos. Until next week my little enchiladas. xx