Ode to the US of A

Roses are red,
Tomorrow is election day,
It could be the biggest moment,
In the history of the USA,

Both McCain and Obama,
Are nearing the end of the campaign trail,
Some people speculate it’s a clear Democratic win,
But I fear the Republicans are right on their tail,

It’s no time to be complacent,
As Americans have learned in the past,
Hopefully the polling stations will be bumping,
So the US can turn things around fast,

I know from a Canadian perspective,
Most of us will be glued to our sets,
In hopes of a fresh start for our friends down south,
Hopefully Senator Obama knocks out that geriatric old vet,

Send Palin back to Alaska,
To hunt moose and raise all her kids,
Put Obama at the helm of the country,
So he can clean up all the shit,

Admittedly, Joe Bidden is a bit of a snore,
Perhaps Hil should have been Obama’s running mate?
Either way, I think the choice is clear,
Hopefully tomorrow, the US realizes it’s not too late.

In a plea to entice the public to vote tomorrow, sex toy store Babeland (with locations in Brooklyn and Seattle) has vowed to give voters the choice of a free Silver Bullet vibrator OR a Maverick Penis Sleeve with proof of voting for the week following the election. Perhaps some of Vancouver’s sexy-time shops should launch a similar campaign for our upcoming civic election? I like. Thoughts possums?

The Urban Cowgirl’s Top 5 Things I’m So Over Concerning the US Election:

5) Elizabeth Hasselbeck ranting her Republican sentiments across the table on The View whilst battling with Whoopi Goldberg and Joy Behar.

4) Sarah Palin and John McCain appearances on SNL. I realize this is the first time the show has had successful ratings in years, however it was funny the first time kids...and only the first time.

3) Interrupting regular (and important) programming like Letterman, for example. Shameful.

2) Celebrity endorsements. I’m quite confident that props from Scarlett Johansson, Ditty and the likes aren’t going to improve ones chances of getting elected.

1) The McCain ‘two thumbs up’. Alright already, we get it.