Exhibit A
All you can eat Thai - nixed. Upon receiving my Thai take out last night, I was appalled to find that the regular all you can eat deal had been canceled. Not available. No goo deal fah yoo folks. Note big nasty red X...
Exhibit B
Handmade poster plastered on a street light across from my apartment, pleading for the safe return of a lost Louis Vuitton bag. Are you facking kidding me? Who in their right mind is going to return a faboosh bag like
that? Frankly, I bet that bad boy is listed for sale on craigslist as we speak. Dito for the digi-cam that was left inside. Some homeless dude is eating well for the next few weeks.Exhibit C - I’m a child hater
Local charities are coming up with sneakier tactics to guilt you into giving up your doe. I’m all about donating to the causes that are most meaningful to you, however being hounded at the check out is not cool. I was hit hard, TWICE in one night en route home after work Friday.
All i was after was some vino accompanied by tasty tofulati, fat free ice cream sandwiches. Dee-lish. However, I was accosted by the cashier at my local Liquor Store asking if I’d like to donate $1 to dry grad. Dry grad? Why, so they can upgrade to a nicer limo? We all know the kids are going to get their drank on anyway. In other words, that $1 goes to the teens who then want to rip it up on prom night, eventually spending my dollar back at the Liquor Store, resulting in more profits for BCLQ. Genius really.
Feeling rather jaded, I popped over to pick up my ice cream sandwiches only to be under attack, once again. This time by a pre-teen pubescent wanting to know if I’d like to make a donation to Children’s Hospital. Well yes, ofcourse I do theoretically. I suppose if I can afford $7 ice cream sandwiches, I should donate to the kids. Fine. Fack, you got me.
If I find that purse, I’m posting it here...starting bid $500. I’ll even donate 10% to charity. Ha.
Donna Summer said it best possums...
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