Merry Frickin Christmas

With only 9 days left before Santa suits up for his worldwide jaunt, one would think people would be in a somewhat merry mood. Feeling rather merry myself, I stepped out for a stroll along our seawall this afternoon to frolic in the snow and soak up some sunshine. Before embarking on my walk, I popped some trash into a neighbors dumpster, only to be viciously accosted...by an 80 year old woman. She had a thick accent (maybe German?) so it was hard to make out what she was shouting, but clearly she was not happy that I put garbage in her dumpster. She continued to holler at me for about a block as I ignored her, trying to shake off this blatant attack.

Now, I dare not diss the elderly (a little shout out to my Gram here), however this is not the first time I have had a run in with the local retired folks. My neighborhood has a high population of pensioners, with a median age of what feels like 70. It just so happens that I’m relocating to another area of the city in the new year, so I’m hoping they don’t follow me.

After a lovely winter stroll, I decided to brave the mall (aka the den of holiday hell) to get my shopping done, in one valiant sweep. Take my advice possums, Christmas shopping doesn’t have to cause you a merry meltdown, you just need to make a list. Get your game plan together and get in and out, like you’re going into Christmas combat. So in manner of G.I. Jane, I hit the shops only to be accosted once more by the cosmetic girls peddling perfume packages, crazed shoppers shoving their way past me, hordes of hoochies exiting Holt Renfrew, and so on. Slowly, I could feel my festive spirit sucked from within me.

Feeling rather defeated, I drug my weary ass home for a well deserved candy cane martini (see recipe below). I turned on my Christmas tree and quite fittingly discovered the movie Scrooged is on TV tonight. Yes! I hope the German granny across the street is watching...

Candy Cane Martini

1.5 ounces of grey goose vodka
1/2 ounce peppermint schnapps
splash of soda
garnish with small candy cane