Fashion Faux Possums

At the ripe ol' age of 30, I'm feeling much too young to be reliving some of the worst fashion trends known to man, but alas, it’s happening. I remember when I bought my first pair of ‘flare’ jeans circa 1994 and my mom saying ‘I wore those when I was your age’. At the time the 70’s seemed ancient, so that comment had merit. Today, however, as I sit in my sky rise apartment perched over the city cringing over the sight of slouchy boots, spandex and neon I can’t help but feel a touch archaic. Ugh.

It’s true that trends can come back full circle, sometimes they make as many comebacks as Cher’s farewell tour. However, that doesn’t mean they should. Over the past few weeks I have endured a few fashion WTF’s that I couldn’t help but share.

The big belt. This is nothing new possums, as we’ve seen this accessory sneak it’s way back into our closets a few times. But must we put a belt on EVERYTHING? Never mind the ring, if you like it then ya shoulda put a belt on it kids because you cannot escape the little cinchers. In one afternoon of shopping, I swear the words “you should throw a belt on it” escaped the mouths of several relentless retailers. It got so bad that during my final stop, I could see an unsuspecting staffer approaching in my peripheral as I slipped out of the change room sporting a summery shift. Before she could manage a word, I interrupted and said ‘let me guess, I should totally throw a belt on it?’ The look of disgust this gal gave me. Priceless.

Just this past weekend I was again blind sided by another trend I thought for sure died with my big hair and risky business Ray-bans. The scrunchie. Yes ladies, it’s back. I have no idea at what capacity...perhaps it’s just a blip? Either way, this is something we simply should not support. Just say no to the stretchy bow. Boycott the scrunchie! I was so appalled, I captured a photo of the fashion catastrophe.

It’s all reminiscent of a popular Sex and the City episode that epitomizes the essence of the scrunchie. You might remember it.

Scrunch out. Keep it scrunchie.
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