The Greats of 2008

Possums! Did we all survive the holidays? I managed to overindulge within an inch of my life with every goodie and cocktail I could get my mutt hooks on. Tis the season so they say (they obviously aren’t worried about fitting into their New Year's Eve frock).

As 2008 comes to a close, many bloggers the world over are pumping out their ‘Best Of’ lists so I thought I might throw together a little complication of my own, with the Urban Cowgirl’s Top 5’s for 2008.

Top 5 Albums

5) Kanye West: 808’s and Heartbreaks
4) Lil Wayne: Tha Carter 3
3) Metallica: Death Magnetic
2) Kings of Leon: Only By the Night
1) Duffy: Rockferry

Top 5 Singles (that make you wanna get down and krunky)

5) So What, Pink
4) Mercy, Duffy
3) Give It to Me, Madonna
2) Let It Rock, Kevin Rudolph & Lil Wayne
1) Everyone Nose, N.E.R.D.

Top 5 New Artists

5) Lady Gaga
4) Paramore
3) Katy Perry
2) Estelle
1) Kate Nash

Top 5 Movies

5) RocknRolla
4) Changeling
3) Vicky Cristina Barcelona
2) Mama Mia
1) Seven Pounds

Top 5 Hottest Trends

5) 1920s
4) Oxford prep
3) Barack Obama T’s
2) Jewel tones
1) Eco-friendly fabrics

Top 5 Worst Trends

5) Neon (I buried this away with my big 80’s hair)
4) Chicks in menswear (‘boyfriend’ jeans = barf)
3) Plaid (Eddie Vedder called...)
2) John McCain T’s
1) Skinny jeans on boys

Top 5 Concerts

5) Foo Fighters
4) Jay Z @ Pemberton Festival
3) Citizen Cope
2) Madonna: Sticky & Sweet Tour
1) ACDC: Black Ice World Tour

Top 5 Comebacks

5) 90210 (although, no Dylan McKay = no likey pour moi)
4) New Kids on the Block (selling out stadiums world wide; who knew?)
3) Robert Downey Jr’s film career
2) The Clintons are back the White House (sort of)
1) Britney Spears (I have a soft spot in my heart for Brit Brit)

Top 5 Moments (that made us chuckle)

5) Evolution of Dance c/o YouTube
4) Jason Segel in Forgetting Sarah Marshall
3) Tina Fey and Amy Poehler’s political parody on SNL
2) Robert Downey Jr. in Tropic Thunder
1) Jizz In My Pants

Many of you have asked me ‘why possum?’ so I thought I’d come clean and admit this is something I picked up from my favorite Aussie comedian Dame Edna Everage (Barry Humphries).

Happy New Year possums! I look forward to blogging at you in 2009. xx

The Urban Cowgirl’s Year in Review

Seasons greetings possums! With Christmas a mere 3 days away, I thought I might take this opportunity to reflect on 2008 with you, my faithful readers. The past 12 months have been eventful to say the least. Let’s break it down, shall we...

A Maple Leaf Foods plant is linked to an outbreak of Listeriosis causing folks across Canada to clear their fridges of any tainted meat products. Has anyone seen the Maple Leaf ads with their CEO making a public plea to continue to buy turkeys from them this holiday season? I’d rather serve Spam thanks.

Some poor fella has his head lopped off by a lunatic while traveling on a Greyhound bus in Manitoba. I get annoyed with riff raff on the bus myself, funnily decapitation hasn’t once crossed my mind.

Team China enlists under-agers to compete in gymnastic events during the Beijing Summer Olympics. Oops, that hasn’t been proven yet. Right.

Sarah Palin endeavors to take over the White House alongside John McCain in the 2008 U.S. presidential election and can see Russia from her front porch. She was also one of Googles top search words for 2008.

Heath Ledger dies of an accidental overdose and gives one of the years best performances as the Joker in The Dark Knight. If you haven’t seen this film, check it out over some ‘nogg this holiday.

The Jonas Brothers are famous. What the fuck.

Barack Obama is the 44th President of the United States of America. Yes he did.

Jen Aniston’s body is a wonderland, then it’s not, oh but wait, now it is again. John Mayer bounces from various babes, but eventually lands on Team Aniston.

California passes a ban on gay marriage and therefore demonstrates that there is a large population of morons residing in this state. Luckily, Ellen Degeneres celebrated her nuptials to longtime partner Portia De Rossi before this occurred.

Lindsay Lohan’s a lesbo...allegedly.

The Liberals join forces with the NDP and Bloc Quebecois in an effort to overthrow Stephen Harper. Harper pulls the plug on their pity party and puts parliament on hold until the new year.

Jay Z liked it so he finally put a ring on it. Nick cannon did too (but Mariah probably paid for it).

Madonna ditches Guy and is rumored to be running around town with New York Yankees star A-Rod. The boys keep getting younger but Madge just stays the same age.

We’re in a worldwide recession folks. In case you hadn’t noticed.

Brit Brit is back and looking better than ever. Let’s hope she avoids another buzz cut followed by an angry brellie attack.

OJ Simpson is sentenced to 15 years in prison. Better late than never.

CTV sells out over sensational coverage of the recent Blackcomb Gondola incident. Given CTV was awarded exclusive rights to cover the 2010 Winter Games, it all seems a tad counterproductive, no?

Trevor Linden retires his jersey to the rafters of GM Place. You may have been #16 on the ice Trev, but you’ll always be #1 in our hearts.

December brings crazy snow storms to our fair city, making it impossible to wear heels or drive without owning an off-road vehicle. I feel as though I’ve been quarantined.

Merry merry possums, I hope Santa spoils you all rotten.

Merry Frickin Christmas

With only 9 days left before Santa suits up for his worldwide jaunt, one would think people would be in a somewhat merry mood. Feeling rather merry myself, I stepped out for a stroll along our seawall this afternoon to frolic in the snow and soak up some sunshine. Before embarking on my walk, I popped some trash into a neighbors dumpster, only to be viciously accosted...by an 80 year old woman. She had a thick accent (maybe German?) so it was hard to make out what she was shouting, but clearly she was not happy that I put garbage in her dumpster. She continued to holler at me for about a block as I ignored her, trying to shake off this blatant attack.

Now, I dare not diss the elderly (a little shout out to my Gram here), however this is not the first time I have had a run in with the local retired folks. My neighborhood has a high population of pensioners, with a median age of what feels like 70. It just so happens that I’m relocating to another area of the city in the new year, so I’m hoping they don’t follow me.

After a lovely winter stroll, I decided to brave the mall (aka the den of holiday hell) to get my shopping done, in one valiant sweep. Take my advice possums, Christmas shopping doesn’t have to cause you a merry meltdown, you just need to make a list. Get your game plan together and get in and out, like you’re going into Christmas combat. So in manner of G.I. Jane, I hit the shops only to be accosted once more by the cosmetic girls peddling perfume packages, crazed shoppers shoving their way past me, hordes of hoochies exiting Holt Renfrew, and so on. Slowly, I could feel my festive spirit sucked from within me.

Feeling rather defeated, I drug my weary ass home for a well deserved candy cane martini (see recipe below). I turned on my Christmas tree and quite fittingly discovered the movie Scrooged is on TV tonight. Yes! I hope the German granny across the street is watching...

Candy Cane Martini

1.5 ounces of grey goose vodka
1/2 ounce peppermint schnapps
splash of soda
garnish with small candy cane

BREAKING NEWS: Get me some lipstick

It’s official possums; the news we’ve all been dreading to hear. The Bank of Canada has officially announced that we are, in fact, in a recession. Thank you to all the financial tipsters for bringing this to light. God bless you.

Come the fuck on ya’ll, I’m confident most of us knew that already. However, one statistic that stands interesting during all of this corporate turmoil, is the fact that lipstick sales are up. That’s right folks, one key indicator that your economy is in the toilet is when women are buying lipstick in excess and the cosmetic companies are loving it. Thank goodness someone is enjoying the fruits of this fiscal meltdown.

The reason us gals are looking to lipstick is simply because many of us can’t afford the usual retail therapies, i.e. a hot new dress from Holt’s or a Cole Haan holiday clutch. Thus, to make us feel like we’re sporting something new, we turn to la bouche.

So ladies, here’s a few shades you might like to consider:

• Welfare cheque cherry
• I can’t pay my rent raspberry
• Pucker up payday loan
• Berry bad economy
• Shortfall shimmer

...and my personal favorite...

• Fiscally responsible red

Happy shopping girls! It’s off to the MAC store I go.

Bitten by the Christmas Bug

During the holidays, more than any other time of year, we are somehow inspired to be a bit more compassionate towards others. Generosity comes in many forms, whether that be a donation to a local charity or simply holding the door for a frazzled shopper.

It never ceases to amaze me when I hear a great story on the news about someone’s random act of kindness during the holidays. What truly amazes me however, is that there are grinches out there who try to spoil the season for the less fortunate in our community. When I read that the Salvation Army was robbed at a cost of $25,000 and the Surrey Food Bank had been hit 5 times by thieves, I was inspired to share with you...

The Urban Cowgirl’s Top 10 Ways to Spark your Christmas Spirit

10) Donate to Vancouver’s Covenant House
9) Drop off some nonperishable food items, unwrapped toys or a cash donation to your local food bank
8) Adopt a family through the Salvation Army
7) Adopt a nest from the Stanley Park Ecology Society
6) Sponsor a family through the Vancouver YWCA
5) Give to the Union Gospel Mission by purchasing a gift of comfort or peace from their online catalogue
4) Donate or volunteer for the BC Persons with AIDS Society (BCPWA)
3) Head to the downtown Costco this Friday to contribute to The Beat Cares Holiday Toy and Food Drive
2) Make a donation when casting a vote for your favorite tree at the Sutton Place Hotel, benefiting Canuck Place
1) Stretch your generosity around the world by donating to the Red Cross

Allow me to share with you possums a short video (produced by yours truly) documenting the 14th floor of my building. This lovely gal decorates her entire floor for Christmas every year, complete with goodies for visitors to help themselves to. She’s clearly been bitten by the Christmas bug.

Drama in Ottawa

As many other Canadian bloggers have done this week, I felt the need to blog it up a bit concerning all the hoopla surrounding the proposed coalition. Allow me to break it down for you, in my most educated cowgirl speak...

The Coalition Parties

Let’s start with Stephane Dion. Why oh why would the Liberals elect this man to lead their party? During the federal election, my support for the Liberals was lost due to his condescending tone and angry demeanor. Why must he behave like such a whiney bitch? Sore loser, that’s why. His national address, which clearly displayed Dion at his finest, arrived 1 hour late and was out of focus. When President Bush makes an address to the US there’s catchy music, top of the line production and a flashy back drop. You almost expect some dancing girls to pop out behind him. Not here in Canada folks. Instead, Dion resorted to something that resembled that of an amateur youtube video. Nice work. Can we bring back Jean Chretien please?

Enter Jack Layton, leader of the NDP Party and Dion’s new BFF. It appears that Layton is taking the reins on this one, placing Dion in his shadow. At least he speaks English. Just a tip Layton, lose the porn stash.

Next up, the Bloc. Can’t we just give these folks ownership of an island in the arctic archipelago? If they want to separate so badly, why stop them? Aller mes amis. However, don’t think you’ll be leaving with the largest province in the country, placing a hole in the heart of Canada. Put your parkas on and relocate.

Although not officially part of the coalition, the Greenies have expressed their support. I quite like the idea of the Green Party assuming a few seats in the house. These folks aren’t exactly capable of balancing a federal budget, but I think they have a place in parliament in terms of raising awareness on the subject of sustainability and the environment. Go green.

Our PM

During Stephen Harper’s national address, he had the opportunity to level with the Canadian public and focus on what’s best for Canada. However, he blew it by using his prime time TV spot to campaign for his party, and further campaign for his job. He repeatedly says that he want to ‘focus on what’s best for Canadians’, yet he’s not exactly playing by this principle. By the way, where are his PR people? Harper comes across far too stuffy. Just because you’re the leader of the Conservative Party, doesn’t mean you have to dress so conservatively. You’re the Prime Minister for god sake, invest in a nice suit...but not too spanky, we’re in a recession,


Have the conversation

If nothing else, the proposed coalition has sparked dialogue regarding our political system and hopefully inspired people to learn a bit more about proportional representation (myself included). What would be the impact of a coalition government on the Canadian electoral system? Seemingly, a coalition government is a truly proportional representation of the people but can anything really be accomplished? This is what we should be asking ourselves possums.

It also raises the question; is a pluralistic system like we currently have the best option for Canada? Where disproportional seat distribution results from the division of voters into multiple electoral districts, creating a winner takes all system. As one friend put it; “the Conservatives represent 35% of the house, so that means 65% of the votes didn’t count...so why vote?”

Thankfully the Gov General has postponed parliament until the Conservatives present their budget in January. Given the shaky economy, is this really the best time to be experimenting with democracy anyway? After all, it is the holidays. Perhaps our political leaders should kick back and enjoy some rum and eggnog.

Be Frugally Festive

Well hellooooo possums! It’s December (in case you lost track) and the countdown to the big day is on. Tickity tick tick, time to get a move on with your holiday shopping. I know what you’re thinking...gag me with a yule log, but don’t fret just yet. I’ve compiled a list of tips to stay frugal but festive over the holiday season. Fa la la la la...

Do pre-drinks. Has the economic downturn put a damper on your happy hour? Nonsense. No need to blow a wad on a beefy bar bill, invite friends over to have a few pre-drinks before heading to your local lounge.

Stuff your socks. Instead of indulging in big gifts this year, why not buy a few stocking stuffers for each of your loved ones instead? We’re all adults here possums and let’s face it - Santa’s not comin’. Ditch the over priced gifts under the tree, stocking stuffers are so avant-garde.

Spread some Christmas spirit. True, most of us will accumulate more hangovers in this one month then we do in a year but there is more to the holidays than hanging your head in the toilet. Volunteer at a local shelter or soup kitchen, or host a dinner where all your guests bring a cash donation, nonperishable food item or an unwrapped toy.

Don’t stuff Santa in the mailbox. Instead of spending hours churning out Christmas cards, send a little holiday love online. Conduct your own digital photo shoot, create your own e-card and send it via email to your friends and family. Cost = nothing. Carbon footprint = nada.

Trade spending for sparkle. Looking for a festive activity to share with your ankle biters or significant other? Take a walking tour through some of the city’s most spectacular light displays, with the Urban Cowgirl’s favorite festive places to frolic:

1) The big tree at English Bay (Beach Ave @ Bidwell St)
2) St. Paul’s Hospital Lights of Hope display
3) The courtyard of the Sheraton Wall Centre
4) The green and red sails at Canada Place
5) Harbour Centre Christmas tree
6) The sparkly floating tree in Lost Lagoon

Tis the season to save some dolla bills ya’ll.