Are you dating a Doug?

Just the other day I found myself at the mercy of my local esthetician, getting a much needed mani/pedi combo, when these two gals plopped down in the massage chairs next to me. Having wandered in on my own, I couldn't help but indulge in their neighboring gossip session. Goodie.

As the girls prepped for an afternoon of pampering, I overheard them admiring each others Louis Vuitton bags...which were identical. Gag me with a nail file. They then moved onto a subject matter most commonly overheard in any spa or beauty salon the world over - dating. I guess these gals were so over gossiping about politics and the state of the economy. Ha.

One of them was moaning over her inability to meet Mr. Right and that she was tired of always dating the bad boy. Then I overheard her say, “Why can’t I just date a Doug?” I’m sorry, wha? According to Miss Louis Vuitton to my left, a ‘Doug’ is a nice, stable guy who wears a suit to work. Interesting...I do believe that I am dating this ‘Doug’ that they speak of. My bf is nice, stable and wears a suit to work, however I don’t think this constitutes Mr. Right (although it seems to have in my case).

Ladies - there are plenty of good guys out there. How about Paul the pipe layer, or Dan the mail man or...Ben the baker (I do know a Ben who is a baker, and he’s lovely). Perhaps us gals should stop looking for love based on stereotypes and open our minds a tad. You never know, your prince charming could be installing your cable as we speak.

Until next time possums, I’ll leave you with one of my faves...

Vancouver Votes

As the Vancouver civic election approaches, I find myself riffling through campaign pamphlets in an endeavor to make some informed choices. I received a wonderful little booklet in the mail from the City of Vancouver, which includes individual bios for each of the candidates (obviously self-written). In light of my research, I felt I should share with you...

The Urban Cowgirl’s Favorite Mayoral Candidate Quotes:

Patrick Britten, The Nude Garden Party (very progressive)
“We give freedom of person and society, to learn, evolve, work, play, and love; freedom to triumph beyond conceptions in feardom.”
Feardom? I’m sorry Mr. Nude Horticulturist, there is no such word.

Golok Buday
“...he has joked, Philosophized, managed actors (acting careers), illustrated, painted, auditioned as a child, pamphleteered online, and is (born) from a family of active artists, humanists, and entertainers; also scientists and possible athletes.”
Besides the fact that his photo resembles Che Guevara in full-on revolution mode, I am relieved that he lists ‘joking’ as a qualification. ‘Cause if ya can’t joke people, surely ya can’t be mayor.

Menard Caissy
“Currently, I think Crime Property is down & theft is down significantly since November ’05.”
Thank goodness ‘Crime Property’ is down. Thanks tips. Way to cut and paste a statistic from the city’s website into your bio, very resourceful.

Marc Emery, BC Marijuana Party (he admits to inhaling)
“...introduce a regulated, licensed and controlled distribution of currently black market substances. This will dramatically reduce property crime, gang violence & killings, prostitution...”
Yep, yes it would. The Hells Angels are not going to like this one bit.

Mike Hansen
“As mayor of Vancouver I will bring the city into the 21st century.”
Funny, that works out because I’m pretty sure we were headed there anyway, no?

Joe Hatoum
“Hello fellow CITIZENS, & CANDIDATES; VANCOUVER is STILL POLLUTING the OCEAN with TOXIC SEWAGE - 780 million liters a day!!!”
Ok JOE! You DON’T have to YELL!

Angel Jimenez
“IF I’M ELECTED MAYOR I WILL ORDER the Vancouver Police Department to open its files of proven cases of misconduct by the members of the force.”
WE HAVE ANOTHER YELLER FOLKS. Hidden agenda par chance?

Leon Kaplan
“born in Rio......in 1989 moved to Canada and founded the Storefront Paper. Since then I’ve been running storefronts - things immigrants with PhDs do.”
Yikes, someone’s bitter. Why not open a Brazilian BBQ restaurant? We could use more of those...

Betty Krawczyk, Work Less Party (i fully support the formation of this ‘party’)
“...I am very worried about the future, both the immediate future and the long term future.”
Krawczyk also mentions that she is 80 years old. Not sure you should bank on the ‘long term future’ sista.

Jeff Kuah
“...advocate and champion for the rights of crime victims, student rights and human rights.”
Can’t argue with him there, however shouldn’t the mayor be more concerned with the lack of parking on my street or tax credits for self-employed bloggers?

Peter Ladner, Non Partisan Association
“...two-term city councillor...Vice-Chair of the Metro Vancouver Board...member of the Translink Board...35 years experience in public service...founding the award-winning Business in Vancouver weekly newspaper...avid commuter cyclist.”
Shall I go on? Nothing cheeky to report here possums.

R.H. Maxwell N Bur (how exotic)
“No Gay Parade No IOC Legalize Prostitution Large Business close Sunday There will be no Illegal Drugs in Vancouver”
I’m sorry, wha? The city actually allowed that to go to print? Freedom of speech sure walks a fine line with freedom of lunacy. At least he gives a shout out to the hookers.

Bill Ritchie
“Grassroots priorities from a working class grassroots background.”
I’m definitely going to take a grassroots approach to my voting process and somehow skip Ritchie on the ballot, given I’ll be pre occupied being grassroots.

Gregor Robertson, Vision Vancouver
“...Vancouver’s Mayor’s Environmental Award (2003), and the Ethics in Action Award (2004)...Top 40 Under 40 in the Globe and Mail in 2004...was elected MLA for Vancouver-Fairview.”
Despite the accolades above, have a peek at a previous post featuring Robertson. Wasn’t he recently charged with failing to pay his transit fare?

Scott Yee
”I want to build a public housing system.”
Yee provides a formula for this, however it numbed my skull trying to make sense of it so I’ll save you the migraine.

The above quotes were taken verbatim from the City of Vancouver’s Voters Guide. I kid you not possums.

VANCOUVER VOTES SATURDAY, NOVEMBER 15

Ode to the US of A

Roses are red,
Tomorrow is election day,
It could be the biggest moment,
In the history of the USA,

Both McCain and Obama,
Are nearing the end of the campaign trail,
Some people speculate it’s a clear Democratic win,
But I fear the Republicans are right on their tail,

It’s no time to be complacent,
As Americans have learned in the past,
Hopefully the polling stations will be bumping,
So the US can turn things around fast,

I know from a Canadian perspective,
Most of us will be glued to our sets,
In hopes of a fresh start for our friends down south,
Hopefully Senator Obama knocks out that geriatric old vet,

Send Palin back to Alaska,
To hunt moose and raise all her kids,
Put Obama at the helm of the country,
So he can clean up all the shit,

Admittedly, Joe Bidden is a bit of a snore,
Perhaps Hil should have been Obama’s running mate?
Either way, I think the choice is clear,
Hopefully tomorrow, the US realizes it’s not too late.

In a plea to entice the public to vote tomorrow, sex toy store Babeland (with locations in Brooklyn and Seattle) has vowed to give voters the choice of a free Silver Bullet vibrator OR a Maverick Penis Sleeve with proof of voting for the week following the election. Perhaps some of Vancouver’s sexy-time shops should launch a similar campaign for our upcoming civic election? I like. Thoughts possums?

The Urban Cowgirl’s Top 5 Things I’m So Over Concerning the US Election:

5) Elizabeth Hasselbeck ranting her Republican sentiments across the table on The View whilst battling with Whoopi Goldberg and Joy Behar.

4) Sarah Palin and John McCain appearances on SNL. I realize this is the first time the show has had successful ratings in years, however it was funny the first time kids...and only the first time.

3) Interrupting regular (and important) programming like Letterman, for example. Shameful.

2) Celebrity endorsements. I’m quite confident that props from Scarlett Johansson, Ditty and the likes aren’t going to improve ones chances of getting elected.

1) The McCain ‘two thumbs up’. Alright already, we get it.