Urban Cowgirl – Make it a Double

Miley’s ‘slutty’ photo not a first for Leibovitz

And this shall be a sign unto you; Ye shall find the Miley Cyrus wrapped in swaddling clothes, lying in a Vanity Fair cover spread. Why the uproar, haven’t we seen this photo before? Looks as though famed celebrity photographer Annie Leibovitz has run plum out of ideas?...

Showy Vancouverites lack social sophistication

In recent months, it has occurred to me that I am living amongst a competitive group of generation x’ers. Competitive in what way you ask? I’m not talking about your typical Saturday night slow pitch game people. No…no no. I’m talking about two seemingly hot topics these days - money and mortgages.

I cannot tell you how often I have been subject to participating in these vile conversations at cocktail parties and such. Where someone is telling me how much they bring home per annum and how much they’re in hawk for over their fabulous 400 square foot condo. Fabulous indeed. Far be it for me to judge anyone on what they feel is a personal accomplishment, but are we really resorting to this kind of chit chat in social settings? Isn’t this information better suited for ones financial planner?

Personally, I find it obnoxious and boring. For example, I am a rather well traveled individual and value these experiences a great deal. However, I dare not speak of my travels during these said social functions. Mention of my trek to Manchu Piccu in Peru, wine tasting in Tuscany or motorcycle tour across Cambodia somehow comes across as ‘showy’ or pretentious. Meanwhile, these money mongers have more or less shared their bank statements with me. Which begs one to question – when did we all become such muppets and decide to compete with one another? Who cares really?

While these Yaletown yuppies and their tea cup puppies feel they have reached the height of sophistication, I suggest looking further then your local Starbucks and dog park. There is more to life people. Bearing in mind, I’m somewhat sleeping with the enemy (figuratively speaking) as my lovely bf lives in this neighborhood, so I tread very carefully on the subject. Yet, this group think mentality adopted by generation x does lead me to ponder – is it just Vancouver…or is it happening the world over?

Over and out possums. xx

From Perversion to the Pennsylvania Primaries

U.S. politics - will the fun ever stop? I’m so giddy with all the mud slinging I can hardly stand it.

On the eve of the Pennsylvania primary, the Clinton/Obama race heats up as this poll is said to be a deal breaker with respect to which candidate will represent the Democratic Party in the presidential race this fall. I for one was on Team Hillary until watching the debate last week to which Hill came across slightly bias given moderator George Stephanopoulos is a former senior advisor to hubby Bill when he wore the crown. Come on Hill - how disappointing!

For me, Hillary’s appeal has less to do with the fact that she’s a chick, but more to do with her platform, and quite frankly, her husband who has quite an extensive fan base here in Canadia. I for one had the pleasure of attending a conference where President Bill Clinton delivered an inspiring and authentic speech, no doubt winning over several friends from the north as audience members shouted ‘Hey Bill, can you run for Prime Minister’. Well we couldn’t do worse then our flannel baring PM Harper now, could we (here kitty kitty)?

In light of all of this presidential hoo-ha, I turned to one of my fave Yankee-doos to see what his thoughts were. Much to my surprise, Michael Moore is in full support of Obama, according to his blog. Fair enough Mike, I say anyone (even McCain dare I say) is better then a beef slingin’, cow herdin’, evil doer fightin’ George Dub-ya. And further, I’m hoping who ever assumes the hot seat in the White House will remember their fabulous friends from the north. The friends who provide hydro to light up the entire state of California. The friends who you screwed over with multiple breaches to NAFTA and the Softwood Lumber Agreement…just to name a few. Maybe its lights out for Hollywood until the U.S. plays nice? Just sayin’.

From toe-tappin’, closeted hypocrite Senator Larry Craig to George Dub-yas’ bizarre appearance on this evening’s episode of Deal or No Deal (WTF?)…the hilarity continues.

In other Vancouverite related news…

I’d like to draw your attention to a local establishment, which will remain nameless, that shamelessly chased my friend out of their bar over the weekend for failing to leave a tip on an $8 bottle of Heineken. Just a tip - how’s about you pay my friend to sit in your trashy bar to drink your crap beer. Good god, this city is out of control with cheeky servers expecting a 20% tip without question. Guess what bitches…you gotta work for it.

Whistla, Whis-town, or whatever you want to call it

Over the weekend, I traded my stilettos for ski boots to head to the hills for a girls-only ski weekend with some of my fave females. Whilst en route, I noticed several touristy types snapping photos of the mountainous scenery as we weaved up the highway to Whistler. Having grown up a mere 30 minutes south of the famed ski resort, I realized how desensitized I had become to its natural beauty. ‘Why are they taking so many photos’, I thought, ‘haven’t you seen mountains and ocean before?’ After a while, it dawned on me that I do live in an exceptionally lovely locale. But wait…just as I was about to get sentimental, I discovered I had gone through all of my champagne road-pops. Ah-ha! Never mind, it was the booze talking.

Having arrived slightly sloshy and ready to ‘get my krunk on’, shall we say, I geared up for a weekend of skiing and debaucherous behavior. While the girls and I hit the town in search of the three B’s - bars, booze, and boys – I quickly noticed the demographic in the night clubs had shifted slightly. Not that I am of Nana status by any means, however, my fellow club-goers, let’s call them ‘krunksters’, seemed to be slightly younger than I remembered.

Upon arrival, I was approached by an attractive young lad who offered to buy me a drink. Lovely! Looks as though this Nana has still got it! Then, he inquired as to how old I was. Having already acquired my cocktail, I replied honestly and proudly to which he replied, ‘Really? Ah, ok…well, have a good night’. What the F.

Next up to bat was one of my foxy friends, who was approached by pre-pubescent hopeful #2. Ok, now we’re talkin’. He sits down next to her, and asks if he can INTRODUCE HER TO HIS FATHER who happens to be leering at us from the bar. Ummm…am I on Punk’d for real this time? Ashton? What the F.

Are my days as a bona fide bar star over, at the ripe old age of 29? Do I need to resort to cougar bars and leopard print hot pants? Come the f*ck on people. Allow me to offer these fellas a tip – don’t write off the gals in the latter part of their 20’s just yet dear krunksters. We could teach you a thing or two.

Aside from the 3 B’s, I was delighted to have a few celebrity sightings to cap off the weekend. Hometown hockey hero and wanted sex god Trevor Linden and I shared a lovely exchange while taking in the annual Big Air competition. Then later, in da club, Canadian R&B singer K-os was making his way in, as I was b-lining out…to which I made a cunning u-turn and stalked him about the bar until I was able to inarticulately introduce myself and try to engage in some sort of intelligent conversation. Nice.

Krunkster - pre-pubescent club-goer
Road-pops – slightly illegal alcoholic travel beverages that are acceptable while consumed on public transport

Bachelor Update: It's all over for my favorite Bachelor tartlet and travel companion, Robin Canfield as she did not receive a rose tonight and therefore has been voted off the show. Sniffle sniffle.

Photo credit - Blackcomb Glacier from the top of Whistler Mountain, Urban Cowgirl

New Kids on the Block or Old Men in Need of Cash?

By now possums, I’m sure you’ve heard that the five men responsible for “classics” such as Hangin’ Tough and Please Don’t Go Girl are back. I’ll admit I was in attendance during the Vancouver leg of the Hangin’ Tough Tour and was a devoted fan of the hysteria that was New Kids. However, their reunion seems to be as regrettable as acid wash and teased hair. Do they seriously have new material? Is Timbaland producing their pending album? Come the f*ck on people.

Click here to see their ‘unveiling’ on the Today Show this past Friday. Meredith Viera appears mildly distracted by the lads presence…aroused even. Saucy minx.

In other news, my celebrity correspondent and exclusive star snitch Joan Davis tells me that Hayden Panettiere was spotted walking out of the Scotiabank Theatre here in Vancouver yesterday afternoon in the company of a young, unidentified man. What will her bf Milo Ventimiglia have to say? And…who cares really. Save the dolphins!

Joan also speculates that Elisha Cuthbert was spotted loitering outside of the Sutton Place Hotel here in town on Friday, with again – an unidentified male. Rumor has it she’s dating the lead singer of up and coming Vancouver band Lotus Child (who?).

Bachelor Update: Robin has a breakdown because all the hoochies hate her, but apparently the bach does not, so she gets her rose. Thus, I am compelled to watch for yet another week. Ouch.