Confessions of a Cowgirl

Hello my precious possums, how goes the battle? I say, this summer is slipping away faster than vino from my wine rack. I hope you’re all soaking up the sun and logging as many beach days as possible. Spoken like a true tanorexic. Amidst all of this summertime splendor, I’ve adopted a few guilty pleasures that I thought I’d share. Consider it my cowgirl confessional, minus the closet...or whatever that thing is.

Top 10 Confessions

1) Let’s talk Twilight. I know, I know, how very predictable, but what can I say? I’ve always thought of vampires as being these sensual beasts as it were, toss in a tumultuous human/immortal love affair and i’m hooked. However, I’m happy to report I’m not as diehard (or Twi-hard) as some. For example, like this weirdo who willingly had Robert Pattinson’s autograph tattooed right where he lift it — oh her wrist. WTF.

2) Chicken Club sandwiches from PHAT (Pretty Hot and Tasty), this fabulous New York style deli a few blocks from my pad. The menu doesn’t exactly support the bikini diet, however these babies take care of a Saturday morning hangover in a heartbeat.

3) The Bachelorette. I can’t help but indulge in this weekly cryfest as this gal participated in Whistler/Vancouver product placement for 3 whole episodes! Clever marketing and a bunch of man whores. A delightful combo.

4) Gladiator sandals. They’re back for another season, thank buddha, as my feet were about ready to fall off thanks to my high rise heel collection.

5) Local street busker SpandyAndy, bustin’ a move all over Vancity. If you haven’t seen him in action on the street, check him out here. I first discovered him in front of the art gallery the day after MJ died, performing to all his hits. Just a dude in spandex with solid dance moves and a message. Love him.

6) My tomato plant. I have two sprouts so far. This is exciting news.

7) Speaking of vino vanishing from my wine rack, give the Talus Chardonnay a go. It’s recession friendly, at $10 a pop, and it’s creamy, oaky deliciousness is divine with seafood...or a piece of provolone.

8) The new Lily Allen album, It’s Not Me, It’s You, especially this song. After a mind numbing day at the office, this song soothes the soul.

9) Bumpits hair volumizing inserts. I get fake boobs, fake finger nails and even false eye lashes. But why oh why would we want something that resembles that of a bone contusion sprouting from our noggin? The commercial is what earns Bumpits a spot on this list. Are they for real?

10) Craig Ferguson. I am and have always been a hardcore Letterman loyalist, however Ferguson is fucking hysterical. Is he dipping into a wee dram of scotch before each show? It’s tough to say what’s in his snake cup, but I do love those puppets.

Almost famous

Fame is a funny thing. How does a band or an actor or any performer for that matter attain fame and notoriety? What does it take and what series of events need to occur to secure ones spot in the world of celebrity? Perhaps it comes down to the stars aligning ever so perfectly. Maybe it’s a chance meeting with an important contact or tireless hours of unpaid and unrecognized work. Whatever the magical equation may be, it amazes me how many talented people are out there and why so many of them have yet to be discovered.

Having realized that some of these said talents are people i know or who have crossed my path, I was inspired to compile a short list of....

The Urban Cowgirl’s Ones to Watch

Sophie Bramley West

This British babe is not only easy on the eyes but has a sultry voice and mad songwriting skills to match. She compares herself to the likes of Ladyhawke and Little Boots but I say she has a sexy style all her own. Hailing from Sheffield, England, Bramley West is also a member of the group Orange 38.

I met Sophie years ago while working at a backpackers hostel in Australia. She’s come a long way since serving XXXX to intoxicated travelers. Give her a listen on MySpace.

Andrew Allen

I stumbled upon this singer songwriter while volunteering for the 2009 Junos. BC boy Andrew Allen really stood out for me during a Junos pre-party while performing among several other up and coming Canadian musicians. His poignant sometimes romantic lyrics paired with a serious set of pipes really caught me off guard! What can I say...I’m a sucker for a boy with a guitar. Check him out.

Darcy Michael

I may be a tad bias with respect to this next talent, but I don’t mind because this politically charged pot head (and I say so affectionately) is certainly someone to keep an eye on.

Darcy Michael, the self-proclaimed undercover fag, has been corrupting comedy club audiences for the past 4 years and I feel like this furry fella is on the brink. From his debut on a small stage on The Drive, to comedy festivals, headlining shows across the country and a spot on Leno, Michael is just a few tokes away from super stardom.

Michael also recently got a rise out of self-righteous bitchy blogger Perez Hilton himself, and for that I love him even more.



I hate to love you and leave you possums, but I’ve got to run...tickets to Scott Weiland at the Commodore tonight and I still need to select which under pants I plan on hoisting onto the stage.

Bon soir xx

Rock n Rolla

I like to rock out, now and then, to something of the heavy variety. Don’t be fooled by the cowgirl persona possums, country makes my skin crawl whereas a little death metal can really get this gal groovin’. The rock genre has always been my fave, so I feel that I am somewhat well versed on the subject. Case in point, the contusion on my right shin that remains 5 months after falling off my chair whilst dancing during AC/DC’s Black Ice show. Not my finest moment, but a great time nonetheless.

I recently read an interview where a popular British rock star (or preppy young lad in a red pea coat) made reference to the Grunge era that took North America - and the world really - by storm in the 90’s. Brandon Flowers of The Killers took a stab at the late great Kurt Cobain in an interview with the UK’s Daily Mail, and I quote "I don't mean it in a bad way, but I think Kurt Cobain and grunge took the fun out of rock 'n roll. Everything's changing, though, and it’s starting to become a lot more playful and brighter." I’m sorry? This from a man whose surname is ‘Flowers’ and is responsible for this song?! Are we human or are we dancing? You’ve got to be fucking kidding me. If that is considered rock, Lady Gaga is the next Madonna.

Speaking of ‘Gaga’, I can’t help but gag-gag over her latest look. Lady Gaga; she’s neither a Lady nor a Gaga - discuss. Rachel Zoe will be choking on her 100 calorie lunch over this one...


I suppose it’s no better than this...

...or this. Good god.





I won’t be blogging next week as I’ll be kicking it in Cuba - mojito in hand. Look for the Urban Cowgirl Does Cuba post upon my return. Before I bid you a ‘hasta luego’, let’s rock out proper, shall we? Peace out possums. x

SATC or Brooklyn and babies?

I love Sex. My friends love Sex, my mom loves Sex...I have a feeling even my boyfriend loves Sex. Dare I say that my Gram loves Sex? Doubtful, as most of the jokes go over her head. I speak of the incredibly popular, cult classic Sex and the City ofcourse. Possums....tisk tisk.

Like many a gal around the globe, I spent 6 years glued to my set watching each and every SATC episode. From Mr. Big and Manolos, to martinis and men that shout profanities whilst climaxing, I still find myself indulging in a Sex marathon now and then. Ahem, reruns that is. (Wink).

Rumor has it that these four fabulous vixens will appear, once again, on the big screen for a ‘final’ installment of SATC. Despite my deep devotion to these characters, I felt more than satisfied following the initial film. It was the perfect ending to a perfect story. Why unravel a perfectly played out plot to make another one? Money ofcourse, but who can blame them.

The film was such a grand event, gathering up my gal pals, heading to the theatre in my frock and heels, finishing up the evening over...you guessed it, cosmos. A tad cheesy, perhaps, but what’s worse is the thought of Kim Catrall canoodling young men and Miranda, played by Cynthia Nixon, making more sarcastic comments about moving to Brooklyn. What on earth do they have to talk about now?

I may as well kick back and watch some reruns of the Golden Girls. It’s amazing how similar the two shows are really...Samantha has the same sexy antics as Blanche, Rose is innocent and optimistic like Charlotte, Dorothy is sarcastic and pessimistic like Miranda and...I guess that leaves Sophia as Carrie? Makes sense, they’re both the wittiest of either ensemble. Picture it, Manhattan, 1997...I was a single gal searching for the fella of my dreams in New York City. Ha.

I’m hardly interested in watching a film about kids, marriage counseling and aging gracefully. The reason the show resonated in the first place was the fact that many of us gals have experienced the dating nightmares they had. And further, their fantasy lifestyle allowed us to indulge in that fantasy with every episode. These women represented strength and empowerment - a revolution of the vagina possums! And now another film. I’m just not buying it. A golden girls movie however...now that I might be interested in.

The Greats of 2008

Possums! Did we all survive the holidays? I managed to overindulge within an inch of my life with every goodie and cocktail I could get my mutt hooks on. Tis the season so they say (they obviously aren’t worried about fitting into their New Year's Eve frock).

As 2008 comes to a close, many bloggers the world over are pumping out their ‘Best Of’ lists so I thought I might throw together a little complication of my own, with the Urban Cowgirl’s Top 5’s for 2008.

Top 5 Albums

5) Kanye West: 808’s and Heartbreaks
4) Lil Wayne: Tha Carter 3
3) Metallica: Death Magnetic
2) Kings of Leon: Only By the Night
1) Duffy: Rockferry

Top 5 Singles (that make you wanna get down and krunky)

5) So What, Pink
4) Mercy, Duffy
3) Give It to Me, Madonna
2) Let It Rock, Kevin Rudolph & Lil Wayne
1) Everyone Nose, N.E.R.D.

Top 5 New Artists

5) Lady Gaga
4) Paramore
3) Katy Perry
2) Estelle
1) Kate Nash

Top 5 Movies

5) RocknRolla
4) Changeling
3) Vicky Cristina Barcelona
2) Mama Mia
1) Seven Pounds

Top 5 Hottest Trends

5) 1920s
4) Oxford prep
3) Barack Obama T’s
2) Jewel tones
1) Eco-friendly fabrics

Top 5 Worst Trends

5) Neon (I buried this away with my big 80’s hair)
4) Chicks in menswear (‘boyfriend’ jeans = barf)
3) Plaid (Eddie Vedder called...)
2) John McCain T’s
1) Skinny jeans on boys

Top 5 Concerts

5) Foo Fighters
4) Jay Z @ Pemberton Festival
3) Citizen Cope
2) Madonna: Sticky & Sweet Tour
1) ACDC: Black Ice World Tour

Top 5 Comebacks

5) 90210 (although, no Dylan McKay = no likey pour moi)
4) New Kids on the Block (selling out stadiums world wide; who knew?)
3) Robert Downey Jr’s film career
2) The Clintons are back the White House (sort of)
1) Britney Spears (I have a soft spot in my heart for Brit Brit)

Top 5 Moments (that made us chuckle)

5) Evolution of Dance c/o YouTube
4) Jason Segel in Forgetting Sarah Marshall
3) Tina Fey and Amy Poehler’s political parody on SNL
2) Robert Downey Jr. in Tropic Thunder
1) Jizz In My Pants

Many of you have asked me ‘why possum?’ so I thought I’d come clean and admit this is something I picked up from my favorite Aussie comedian Dame Edna Everage (Barry Humphries).

Happy New Year possums! I look forward to blogging at you in 2009. xx

The Urban Cowgirl’s Year in Review

Seasons greetings possums! With Christmas a mere 3 days away, I thought I might take this opportunity to reflect on 2008 with you, my faithful readers. The past 12 months have been eventful to say the least. Let’s break it down, shall we...

A Maple Leaf Foods plant is linked to an outbreak of Listeriosis causing folks across Canada to clear their fridges of any tainted meat products. Has anyone seen the Maple Leaf ads with their CEO making a public plea to continue to buy turkeys from them this holiday season? I’d rather serve Spam thanks.

Some poor fella has his head lopped off by a lunatic while traveling on a Greyhound bus in Manitoba. I get annoyed with riff raff on the bus myself, funnily decapitation hasn’t once crossed my mind.

Team China enlists under-agers to compete in gymnastic events during the Beijing Summer Olympics. Oops, that hasn’t been proven yet. Right.

Sarah Palin endeavors to take over the White House alongside John McCain in the 2008 U.S. presidential election and can see Russia from her front porch. She was also one of Googles top search words for 2008.

Heath Ledger dies of an accidental overdose and gives one of the years best performances as the Joker in The Dark Knight. If you haven’t seen this film, check it out over some ‘nogg this holiday.

The Jonas Brothers are famous. What the fuck.

Barack Obama is the 44th President of the United States of America. Yes he did.

Jen Aniston’s body is a wonderland, then it’s not, oh but wait, now it is again. John Mayer bounces from various babes, but eventually lands on Team Aniston.

California passes a ban on gay marriage and therefore demonstrates that there is a large population of morons residing in this state. Luckily, Ellen Degeneres celebrated her nuptials to longtime partner Portia De Rossi before this occurred.

Lindsay Lohan’s a lesbo...allegedly.

The Liberals join forces with the NDP and Bloc Quebecois in an effort to overthrow Stephen Harper. Harper pulls the plug on their pity party and puts parliament on hold until the new year.

Jay Z liked it so he finally put a ring on it. Nick cannon did too (but Mariah probably paid for it).

Madonna ditches Guy and is rumored to be running around town with New York Yankees star A-Rod. The boys keep getting younger but Madge just stays the same age.

We’re in a worldwide recession folks. In case you hadn’t noticed.

Brit Brit is back and looking better than ever. Let’s hope she avoids another buzz cut followed by an angry brellie attack.

OJ Simpson is sentenced to 15 years in prison. Better late than never.

CTV sells out over sensational coverage of the recent Blackcomb Gondola incident. Given CTV was awarded exclusive rights to cover the 2010 Winter Games, it all seems a tad counterproductive, no?

Trevor Linden retires his jersey to the rafters of GM Place. You may have been #16 on the ice Trev, but you’ll always be #1 in our hearts.

December brings crazy snow storms to our fair city, making it impossible to wear heels or drive without owning an off-road vehicle. I feel as though I’ve been quarantined.

Merry merry possums, I hope Santa spoils you all rotten.

Sticky & Sweet; Hit or a Miss?

Like many a Vancouverite (about 50,000 to be exact), I too joined the throngs of lace-clad Madonna fans for her Sticky & Sweet spectacle last night. Given my adoration for this woman tips the scale to extreme proportions, I’m going to try to offer a subjective review.

Having seen Madge in concert twice before - Reinvention in Toronto and Confessions in Vegas - I would say Sticky & Sweet was the most digital show she’s done. Less theatrics, more video and computer animation...almost video-game-like in sections. However, the amount of energy exuded by this pint-sized pop star blew me over. The past two tours have been heavy on the yoga, yet this show was just heavy...as in metal.

Since learning guitar for her Music album, Madge continues to play live in all of her shows but she definitely kicked it up a notch with rock out with your cock out versions of ‘Like a Prayer’ and ‘Borderline’ (yes, you heard that right). I’m sorry Madge, AC/DC called, they want their stage antics back. Don’t get me wrong, I thought it was a cool variation but I’m not convinced the crowd agreed.

Video appearances by Timbaland, Justin Timberlake and Pharrell Williams were no surprise and reminiscent of an afternoon watching Much Music. However, the appearance of good ol’ Brit Brit during ‘Human Nature’ was bang on, with footage of the recently recovered train wreck having a break down while locked in an elevator. Yessss, this is the stuff of a great rock show, oops, I mean pop show.

Half way through the show, Madge and a crew of talented musicians and dancers alike rolled through a montage of all her Spanish influenced ditties, topping it off with ‘You Must Love Me’ from Evita. This song, above all others, might best demonstrate Madge’s capabilities as a singer. She’s not just a crotch-grabbing entertainer possums. Loved it.

You could certainly sense the tension around Madge’s recent divorce, especially when she belted out ‘Miles Away’ and ‘She’s Not Me’. Ummmm...is it me, or is this entire album a compilation of Guy Ritchie breakup songs? One must wonder. Nevertheless, it fuels her performance and quite frankly, I like it when she’s mean.

As always, Madge couldn’t resist some politics, comparing John McCain to the likes of Hitler and Robert Mugabe while comparing Barrack Obama to the Dalai Lama and Mother Teresa. A tad extreme? Perhaps, yet the Americans sitting beside me were eating it up.

My overall sense while observing the crowd, which seemed to span three generations, was that it was an even mix of moms having a night out, gal pals in their thirties and gay men. I got the impression that some of the older crowd expected Madge to run through all of her 80’s hits as many of these folks fell silent during songs from Hard Candy, but isn’t this the point? You tour when you have new material to perform, no? Further, the reason Madge has stayed so relevant for so long is her capability to change and evolve and grow as an artist.

Despite this said growth, she still has a foul mouth, fingers the crowd and grabs her coochie repeatedly. In that respect, Madonna definitely did not disappoint.

The Urban Cowgirl would like to wish all her possums a very safe and happy Halloween!

The Urban Cowgirl’s Top 30 Before 30

Having recently reached that sometimes dreadful milestone known as the big 3-0, I find myself feeling somewhat reflective of my messy yet meaningful 20’s. So without seeming like I’ve bought a one-way ticket to Nanahood, I’m celebrating the cunning cougar that I am by sharing with you my Top 30 Before 30 list:

30) Touring the site of Angkor Wat in Cambodia aboard a dodgy rented motorcycle (I have the muffler scar to prove it).
29) Waking up to the view of a crystal clear Harrison Lake from your tent while camping with friends.
28) Hiking the Lares Trek to Manchu Picchu in Peru.
27) Seeing Madonna in concert...twice...oops, three times as of Thursday.
26) Diving the Great Barrier Reef in Australia.
25) Being caught camped out on Trevor Linden’s front lawn in a random stalking attempt.
24) Swimming with hundreds of stingrays at Stingray City just off of Grand Cayman Island.
23) Salivating over Scott Weiland while he slithers about on stage in leather pants, rocking out with Stone Temple Pilots.
22) Watching the sunrise whilst perched upon a sand dune in the Sahara desert.
21) Enjoying one too many white wine spritzer’s at English Bay with your foxy girlfriends.
20) Sailing the Dalmatian coastline of Croatia.
19) Having martinis in Chelsea, Manhattan with your mom.
18) Drinking jungle juice in the Sari Club while visiting Bali, Indonesia (before the 2001 bombings).
17) Spending an afternoon sipping hot chocolate and bailey’s while ATVing with your dad.
16) Island hopping around Bocas Del Toro in Panama.
15) Walking the streets of Vancouver, tipsy and slightly belligerent following a Canucks win.
14) Trekking around northern Thailand, staying with hill tribes each night and smoking a sticky substance that makes you dreamy for days.
13) Flashing the bod to passersby while house boating on Shuswap Lake.
12) Plunging to near death with a bungee cord strapped to your ankles while cruising around New Zealand.
11) Holding a friends new born baby for the first time.
10) Having a good friend draw you a map...and following it to the Pherentian Islands in Malaysia.
9) Establishing an impressive karaoke repertoire including the likes of Queen, The Georgia Satellites, and Shania Twain.
8) Watching an AFL game at the Melbourne Cricket Grounds (MCG).
7) Waking up early to run the Vancouver seawall, joined only by a few blue herons to disturb you.
6) Mastering the use of chop sticks, which is crucial to ones survival when choosing to live in our fair city.
5) Taking in a Flamenco show in Seville, Spain.
4) Learning to cook something apart from turkey burgers and dipping stone wheat thins into cottage cheese (still one of my favorites, however).
3) Swilling back a few double caesars a la apres ski with friends in Whistler.
2) Leaving the devastating hairstyles of the 1990s behind. (Good god, I just threw up in my mouth thinking about it).

And the number one Top 30 Before 30 is...
1) Learning to always have an emergency supply of Grey Goose in your freezer.

Although turning thirty hasn't slowed me down, I must sign off now to put my Nana ass to bed. Bon soir possums.

Photo credits - Urban Cowgirl

Once you go Mac you never go back

So I’ve gone and done it people. I’ve joined the ranks of hipster writers the world over. I’m playing for the other team. I’m one of the cool kids now. I’m the proud new owner of a Mac and I have to say - believe the hype.

It’s a spanky little machine, but what impressed me most about my Mac purchase was the experience. I was even offered an enthusiastic ‘congratulations’ as I made my way out of the store. As if I had just given birth to the thing. All things Apple seem to be at a level of ingenuity unmatched by their one and only competitor - Microsoft. For example, let’s take their new commercial starring Jerry Seinfeld. Have you seen this? What the devil made them think he would be an appropriate celeb to endorse the PC? Puzzling. He and Mr. Gates share an awkward moment together…ahem, shoe shopping. I was completely confused as to what exactly they were trying to pedal here. Jerry Seinfeld and Bill Gates for Payless Shoes perhaps? Good god. See bizarre-o ad below:



This latest attempt has only left Microsoft looking less sexy next to Apple’s low-budget yet impactful ads starring D-list actor Justin Long, (who was temporarily A-list during his brief courtship with Drew Barrymore). Apple was even cutting edge back in 1984 when Macintosh first hit the market. Remember this ad? It's and oldie, but a goodie:



Less is more folks. Perhaps Microsoft should consider casting someone a bit less 1995 for their ads. Apple – 1, Microsoft – 0.