Don’t call me baby

Last week while lunching with some lady friends, our conversation shifted towards the subject of dating – shocking, I know. We quickly realized that we all shared a similar opinion on the subject of pet names. You know, terms of endearment. Those sickening sweetie names we use when we’re smitten with the opposite sex.

I’m not poo-pooing pet names possums. In fact, I’m happy to engage in some love language with my bf, but there’s a reason why this is acceptable. So listen up all you single studs, because I have yet another piece of unsolicited advice for you.

One of my lunching ladies mentioned that she had met a pilot during a layover in Toronto. Following an impromptu 2 hour get-to-know-you-over-coffee first date, the pilot seemed promising. Let’s face it, the uniform gets you a second date regardless. Given our pilot is based back east, a budding exchange of text messages ensued. Talk of a second date on this side of the country seemed inevitable until our leading man made the mistake of typing something that we all agreed was a tad pervy. In the text he referred to our gal as ‘sexy’. Not, ‘wow you looked really sexy sitting at your gate that day’. No...no, no. Sexy as in ‘hope you had a good flight home, sexy’. Yuck.

We glanced at each other with a simultaneous look of disgust. Why was it so horrible that a guy referred to our friend as sexy? I’ll tell you why possums, because you just don’t go there until you’re in a relationship. I compare this to the first time you do a #2 at a guys place (which is another blog in itself). We don’t do this unless we’re committed, because for one reason or another, it’s considered offside. Same goes for ‘sexy’. Or shnookum bear, sugar tits, or any other bizarre-o pet name. It implies one of two things:

1. Your manner with women is comparable to that of an 80 year old.
2. You’re a sleazy chauvinist.

I’m certain I do not speak for the every one, but I’m confident I speak for most when I say - sexy is not okay unless, at the very least, you’ve had a roll in the hay.

Case in point: