The Urban Cowgirl is hittin’ the road!

In the coming weeks, I'll be blogging via remote locations, such as the Sahara desert in Morocco (do they have Wi-Fi there?), the southern beaches of Portugal and over a pitcher or two of Sangria in Spain.

Ciao possums. xx

Pucker up piggies - we’re putting on lipstick north and south of the 49th

In recent months I’ve watched the drama surrounding the American election unfold, and with mere weeks to go before Americans hit the polls, I find myself wondering...what exactly are the key issues each party plans to address? So far I’ve been able to piece together 2 things - Sarah Palin is a foxy hockey mom who claims to have a lovely view of Russia from her front porch while Barrack Obama promises to impose a ban on the application of lipstick for citizens of pig-like proportions.

I’ve always been under the impression that the lead up to any election should be a time for political parties to bring their A-game and pitch their platform to the voting public. Yet, once again the mud slinging and scandals have taken over and I have to admit, it all makes for a sexier campaign. After all, controversy is what captures the public's attention, which is why many Canadians are completely unaware that we too are about to vote in a federal election.

A federal election in Canada is about as exciting as a game of curling (can you believe they televise that shit!?)...until now. Finally some dirt is beginning to surface and it’s completely turned my attention away from the US and onto what really matters. Like, the fact that candidates from both the Liberal and NDP parties have been engaged in naked protests, drugs and sexy time. Its-a niiiice, I-a liiiike.

You have one NDP (formerly Green) candidate who was charged with dropping his gear and requesting that a group of minors ‘body paint him all over’. Charming. Then you have a Liberal candidate who previously posed as Lady Godiva - naked - on horse back in a protest against logging on Saltspring Island. Come on Godiva, a few large scale hotels and casinos aren’t going to impact the island’s ecosystem that much. I kid, i kid.

Bottom line, our election is finally gaining momentum thanks to some wanker candidates with a closet full of skeletons. My attention will only drift back to the US should either candidate make mention of the many American NAFTA breaches that have occurred over the years but it won’t...they’re too busy trying to determine whether Palin or her daughter gave birth to that baby. God bless America.

Canada votes October 14.

The Urban Cowgirl's Make it a Double

Related? Kate Hudson/Chris Robinson offspring Ryder...and Beck?

Once you go Mac you never go back

So I’ve gone and done it people. I’ve joined the ranks of hipster writers the world over. I’m playing for the other team. I’m one of the cool kids now. I’m the proud new owner of a Mac and I have to say - believe the hype.

It’s a spanky little machine, but what impressed me most about my Mac purchase was the experience. I was even offered an enthusiastic ‘congratulations’ as I made my way out of the store. As if I had just given birth to the thing. All things Apple seem to be at a level of ingenuity unmatched by their one and only competitor - Microsoft. For example, let’s take their new commercial starring Jerry Seinfeld. Have you seen this? What the devil made them think he would be an appropriate celeb to endorse the PC? Puzzling. He and Mr. Gates share an awkward moment together…ahem, shoe shopping. I was completely confused as to what exactly they were trying to pedal here. Jerry Seinfeld and Bill Gates for Payless Shoes perhaps? Good god. See bizarre-o ad below:



This latest attempt has only left Microsoft looking less sexy next to Apple’s low-budget yet impactful ads starring D-list actor Justin Long, (who was temporarily A-list during his brief courtship with Drew Barrymore). Apple was even cutting edge back in 1984 when Macintosh first hit the market. Remember this ad? It's and oldie, but a goodie:



Less is more folks. Perhaps Microsoft should consider casting someone a bit less 1995 for their ads. Apple – 1, Microsoft – 0.

Channeling my inner bride…smaid.

Invites and centre pieces and wedding vows – oh my. And so it was my turn to take on the task of bridesmaid-of-honor for a gal pals recent nuptials. A hefty undertaking for someone like myself who has never fully understood the ritual that is the wedding. It’s always seemed so 18th century to me. Nonetheless, I was honored to take on the role and learned a lot along the way. Which brings me to…

The Urban Cowgirl’s Wedding Party Survival Tips:

1) First and foremost, the bride is always right. Don’t offer suggestions or throw out ideas as your bride will no doubt have her vision in place and it’s non-negotiable. I equate this to dealing with high level executives – don’t offer too much detail, just grin and nod and getter done.

2) More details = more f*ck-ups. Otherwise, you’ll find yourself packaging cupcakes and arguing with the wedding planner the night before the shindig takes place. In other words, keep it real. Are place cards and party favors necessary? Nice touch but not worth the meltdown.

3) Be organized. Stuff your bosom full o’ tissue in the event that the bride breaks down at the altar. Practice deep breathing exercises so you are prepared to lead your bride through a series of meditation tactics, if necessary.

4) The blending of two families is an interesting dynamic to witness. I would strongly encourage a pre-wedding bonding session to avoid any awkward energy on the big day. Why not get both clans together for a rowdy piss up? Go to a karaoke bar, guzzle some vodka redbulls and have a laugh. Nothing like getting a little sloshy with your in-laws-to-be.

5) Speaking of sloshy, try to avoid consuming too many cocktails prior to delivering a toast to the bride and groom. If you forget what you’ve just said mere moments after putting down the mic, the results could go either way. I haven’t heard from my bride since the wedding…here’s hoping.

Weddings seem to have couples by the balls these days. Hats off to all the folks who have survived their wedding and for those of you who have yet to walk down the aisle of marital bliss – bonne chance possums.

Here’s to love! To l’amour!

Surviving the Race of the Humans

So I did it possums. Along with nearly 5,000 other competitors, I hit the pavement Sunday night for the Nike Human Race 10K. Whew, what a night. Let’s review, shall we?

As mentioned in a previous post, I signed up to run the Human Race a few months back during a boozy event with a gal pal of mine. What sold me (besides the open bar) was the international element of the race, given 25 other cities around the world would be participating on the same day. Cool! I’m also approaching the milestone that is the big 3-0 this year (gulp), so I felt a 10K or some sort of physical achievement was in order. I use the term ‘achievement’ loosely as I’m no Ironman, however it was an achievement pour moi.

The course itself was impressive, carrying competitors along Vancouver’s picturesque seawall during an otherwise perfect sunset. Although it was touching to have complete strangers cheer you on along the way, I’m confident I nearly plowed over a few grannies attempting to ‘high five’ me as I huffed and puffed past them. I was also lucky enough to have my extremely supportive BF cheering me on as I crossed the finish line. Good thing, as I may have collapsed without that last minute bit of encouragement.

Simon Whitfield, silver medalist of the triathlon event at the recent Beijing Summer Olympics, took part in the race coming in third overall. Um…could you imagine coming in first and beating an Olympian? That’s gotta’ be good for the old ego.

By the way possums, if you’re planning to run a 10K, do not attempt this without training. I am a runner, however I tend to laze away the summer days and abandon my exercise routine, only to be replaced by beaching and drinking…and beaching and drinking. Thus, stepping onto a treadmill once over the 10 weeks prior to the race does NOT constitute a proper training program. Boo.

I’m feelin’ the burn, as I’ve been waddling around since crossing the finish line, yet the pain is beginning to subside. My remedy you ask? Drinking and avoiding exercise ofcourse. Hmmm...What can I say; it’s a vicious cycle people.

Pain aside, I’m thrilled to have taken part. Vancouver ranked 4th overall for fastest city and Nike threw out all the stops – everything from the spanky dry-fit shirts included in your runner’s package, right down to the kick-ass after party complete with live performances by The Trews and Theory of a Deadman.

This cowgirl of urban proportions is certainly not in any hurry to run another race; however I could get back in the saddle again in ’09. Stay tuned…